And by that I mean Ricky Gervais's Office, which lots of people loved, and I could not bear to watch because it was cruel, and it made the viewer complicit in the cruelty and at the same time mocked the viewer as being too stupid to realise it was cruel, they were complicit in the cruelty, and that was because they really were David Brent themselves.

Shudders.

Anyway, being in need of a good cheering up, I went the rounds of the usual comedy shows on the Beeb - News Quiz, Would I lie to you, so bad it's good, and then I get to Have I Got News for You.

And it has Captain Kirk as the guest host. And I can't watch that, because he'll think he's laughing with but no, it's laughing AT.

Shudders some more.



I have pissed away the weekend. I have slept ten hours. I flooded the kitchen after finally getting it clean. I still need to mend the washing machine so I can do the washing.

But four days till my holidays!

I want to have a go at making dulce de leche ice cream, with raspberry ripple.

leni_jess who was a stalwart of the exchange, and of many other exchanges to boot, has passed away.

http://leni-jess.livejournal.com/269699.html

We were only working out who to assign her prompts to last night, and I was only talking to her a couple of weeks ago. It's such a shock. I counted her as a friend, and was looking forward to seeing her again next year.

I've passed on the news to the reversathon, hpbeholder and springtime mods.

After the debacle with the diet coke, the second bottle of diet coke, and the melting of plastic bottles onto the cooker... I thought I had put that all behind me.

Alas, last night I dropped buttered crispbreads on the kitchen floor. Buttered side down, of course.

And the day before I dropped a whole bowl of Heinz tomato soup on the floor by the puter, and had to spend hours wiping it off the wall, floor, USB hub, computer wires etc. Last night I had to scrub the floor as it was still slippery, possibly due to excess cleanliness as compared to the rest of the floor. Dust may form a necessary anti slip agent.

That's my story anyway.

It is five working days till my next holiday. Which lasts ten days. And I am counting the hours. I am ready for it to be here now.

I want to be back home making things again.

I also want to know what you can do to stop split rings from splitting once you've hung your egyptian charms on your chain, so you don't scatter djed pillars as you walk round the office. I suspect the answer might be solder.

Where Hermione finds Severus' porn stash and he has a taste for young ladies in diaphonous clothes, in baths, with long hair and Hermione fits his type.

And is pleased by this. Possibly agreeing to re-enact the scenarios.

I've been to see the dentist to have my new teeth installed. I now have a two grand smile.

But nothing to smile about ;-)

And i spent my sojourn in the country making jewelery. Mostly fimo beads. And i now have a gaudy .. sorry ... tasteful necklace of egyptian amulets with the combined magical power of, pace pterry, a well aimed half brick.

Soon there will be more.

I've also been taking lots of pictures of small things, close up. Expect picspam. This is not really a third thing, but a hint of forthcoming attractions.

Yesterday, I tried chicken for the first time. This wasn't some conversion, but an accident as someone told me a coronation chicken sandwiich was egg mayonnaise. I'd masticated a bit before I went... that's never egg between my teeth. I was then forced to spit it out into a hanky in the middle of a swish event, going ewwwwwwwwwwwwww oh my god I've just eaten meat.

People administered champagne until I got over the shock.

Work continues along the same lines - one step forward, two steps back. I get my nose back in front on one thing, and then something happens to undermine it. I feel I'm making progress in making contacts on one side, and then they go behind my back to exclude me. I pushed back on that and got myself back in the game, but .. hey ho.

And there is huge political kerfufflage about something I'm trying to stay well clear of, but dear boss is ...well let's put it this way. Most of the time she micro manages to the point of control freakery... suddenly on this she doesn't want to be copied in even.

Mmm, not letting you get away with that. I've got itchy shoulder blades.

However, the good news is that, last night, when I had the huge bought of illness brought on by eating chicken, led to me sorting out my Oyster card which had somehow managed not to update itself automatically AND I got hold of three tickets to the closing ceremony at the Olympics.

Mumsy is going to see the fireworks!

You don't get long to make a decision, and I was looking at the time ticking off four minutes and wondering whether to turf my parents out of bed at 3am to decide whether they wanted tickets. And in the end, I just went for it on the basis I could afford to buy it for them as a present as long as I never set foot in a taxi again, gave up chocolate, and shoes, and well food really, for the next year. But they'll buy their tickets so it's only taxis I'm giving up and I can still eat.

Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

And walking is better for you anyway.

And I played along

http://www.guardian.co.uk/books/2012/may/14/how-to-write-flash-fiction?commentpage=1#comment-16119833

I don't think a lot of people got it.


And the Telegraph has some amazing pictures of beetles

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/earth/earthpicturegalleries/9265057/Igor-Siwanowiczs-pictures-of-praying-mantises-stag-beetles-and-chameleons.html?frame=2218702

This morning, as I went to work, I spilled my cotton buds all over the floor.

I picked them up.

I went to work.

I came back.

I went shopping.

I put the shopping on the hob, which was turned off.

I sat in the lounge, checking on my reviews.

I heard a hissing noise coming from the kitchen, and thought.. there definitely should be any hissing.

I go in to find that I'd clipped a knob, turned on the hob, and my bottle of milk and two bottles of coke were melting all over the ring. In my haste to sort this out, one of the bottles fell on the floor and it exploded. Coke up the walls, coke on the floor, coke on the fucking ceiling.

I mopped it up, had dinner, rescued the unmelted milk, put the unmelted remnants of the diet coke on the side.

Went to do the washing up.

Knocked the diet coke on the floor, and now there is diet coke on the floor, the wall, the ceiling etc.

It is very very very much not my day.

So, if one is to begin the career as bestselling novellist, the first question is - what shall I call myself?

I always thought I'd go with Shiv, tbh.

However, taking the alternaitve route offered by porn names...

Should I be

Poll #1840042
Open to: All, detailed results viewable to: All, participants: 104

Should I be?

I had my hair cut.

Hairdresser tells me I'm getting stress alopecia.

Oh wonderful!

You can't see anything, but there are two little bald patches on the back of my head. The good news is that it's not caued by hairdye so I can continue being a redhead for the time I have hair remaining. And it's probably going to grow back and that's it.


And then I had an eye test.

My right eye has deteriorated so much so quickly, they want to see me again in three months time just in case I'm going blind. No signs of it being anything serious, but they want to keep ... ahahahaha.......... an eye on it.

And fuck me sideways with a pineapple. but varifocals are expensive. They tried to get me to go for a two for one offer - and let me say that two pairs of glasses for the price of one isn't as good a deal as it sounds when it turns out that's frames only. If I'd gone for that, and the lenses they wanted, I' have been down about £850.

Tossers.

So, in short, the plus side is that my eyesight is so bad I can't see my hair loss. Which is good.

And no one is allowed to be mean to me on the Exchange because all my hair will fall out.

(I'm entertained to see we've had our first drop out, even before sign ups are complete).

I was going to buy myself something nice to cheer myself up but I went fuck it and came home. There may be an eclair in the fridge.

I have discharged my Snarry obligations.

It is nearly the weekend.

I managed to cane an awkward piece of work today. Awkward because twatty partner didn't get all the information that I needed to advise properly.

I met a blond billionaire with long hair. For realz.

Is this not the most perfect Turnerscape but for real? I should paint that.

And now I must think of my exchange prompts.




Sign ups are going well, but they look bigger than they are due to the multiple posts of peeps for one sign up and all the comments. There's still room for more!

Oh yes. Come to me my pretties, my undecideds, and get those typing fingers limbered up. Or your painting fingers. Or whatever fingers you've got.

you go shopping for stuffs in Sainsburys, see something which on closer inspection turns out to be some sort of thing for teething children, and think... why are they selling anal beads in the nappy section?

I'm having my eyes tested on Saturday. I am actually having a bit of difficulty focusing and can't see very well. When you have to read your porn in font +2 you know that there's a problem.

Work was work, and work couldn't get more worky without causing some sort of black hole thing to occur.

No news on Insulting!offer/second interview from the other place.

I did, in exciting news, manage several flights of stairs today. Not one after the other, mind, but there is at least some sense that my lngs are beginning to work again.

Still owe peeps fic. ~iz bad girl~

Alas, they've come back with the suggestion I might like to lower my sights and make a move as senior manager.

Which would put me in precisely the same sodding position as now, but with an added layer of bureaucracy between me and the partners, which effectively means a demotion.

And with three directors newly recruited ahead of me in the promotion game.

I am underwhelmed.

I still might go if they offer me a payrise, but I amnot happy, and I'm already planning my next move. which just goes to show that if you shit on people to start with they just don't forgive you.

Ever.

Aand my nice weekend away has seen me do some writing and some painting, and not a lot else but you can expect to see a lot of watecolour picpspam tomorrow.

Oh and ... the exchange has opened up for prompts.

I voted last night, and I love the informality of a system that just allows you to turn up and give them your name and off you go.

It's complex voting in London, with three polls at once.

However, the most entertaining thing is watching the collapse of the Lib Dems at the polls. They've no friends at all out there at the moment - not amongst the Tories, their coalition parties, and certainly not amongst Labour.

And no one outside of London wants an elected Mayor. Snerfles. What? You looked at our choice between Ken and BoJo and thought it wasn't worth it.

I think it went well. Who knows? Wait and see.

Did have the loltastic moment of being early for work, and also at some point one of the partners teased me about being late all the time and I just said it really took it out of you organising all these interviews so early in the morning.

This amused me hugely.

I'm keeping quiet about the interview with The Boys, and with other people at work because I'm going to be grumpy as anything if I don't get it and I don't want people to know I failed if I do.

It is very hard to motivate myself to go to work though when there is the prospect of this shiny job to go to. And I shall bea bundle of nerves until I hear.

I am thinking of changing my name to the above because I am perpetually late.

Had two fic bunnies this morning but I never seem to have time to do anything at the moment. I'm going home this weekend again and need to have discharged all my immediate commitments by then.

And I may have an interview by tomorrow depending...